Thirty Pieces of Advice for my Twenty Year Old Self

Posted on August 30, 2016 by Angelique Abare | 1 comment

With the glorious right of passage upon me, the glowing Thirties, and all the promise of adulthood on the horizon - I thought it would be apropro to impart some wisdom for my younger self, from wise old me.  Cliche? Perhaps; but it feels right, and as you will find below, in point number 7, doing what feels right, is always (usually) a good idea.

  1. You are not an adult, and you don't have to pretend to be one. During your twenties you will feel this pressure to have your shit together, and a path figured out. Remember that, at 20, you've only been a legal adult for two years - you have time to figure it out, and you're going to fuck up royally on the way, and it won't be the end of the world. 
  2. Wear. More. Sunscreen. Wrinkles are real, and they will happen, and it will feel strange so just get out ahead of it!
  3. NO ONE gives a shit about either of your Art degrees - but it's important that you finished.  The people you met, connections made, and the self reliance you learned by leaving home and not looking back, is the most valuable thing you have yet to do in your life.  Pack your shit and jump.
  4. Talk to that Fuzz kid sooner - he is the best, most funniest, most supportive, weirdest human you will ever meet. 
  5. 'Because other people expect me to’ is a very poor reason to do anything. 
  6. Quit drinking sooner - you're a mean drunk.
  7. Following your gut has served you well, taken you all over the country, and put you on a pretty awesome path.  Keep doing what feels right, you don't need a pros and cons list, you know what to do. So go get it!
  8. Learn to accept apologies that you will never recieve; life gets easier, and you get happier.  Their issues are about them, not you, get over it.
  9. Go see Alexisonfire more, they split up, and it breaks your god damn heart.  Also, their farewell tour dates are miserable so just go see them now!
  10. No one is paying attention to you, stop worrying.
  11. So far the plane hasn't crashed, re-fucking-lax.
  12. Quit that job sooner, it isn't worth the therapy costs and stress related meltdowns.
  13. Stop apologizing for everything, your guilt is just your brain trying to kill you.  You're an imperfect person, and those around you that don't get that aren't worth your time.
  14. DO NOT HIRE THAT GIRL, you know the one, just don't. 
  15. Start your business sooner!  Yes it was scary, and yes it is hard, but being your own boss is sooo BOSS. 
  16. Call Jasmine more, she is your compass and you need her.  She will bring you back to reality in 2013 and you will wish you reached out sooner, so do it!
  17. Don't quit going to the gym, it hurts 10000 times more getting back into it, than it would have to just schlep there after work.  You're being exceptionally lazy and you will regret it later. (My legs are so sore I have to go down the stairs backwards, also, Pumpkin muffins just came out and you're off carbs.  Neither of these things would be happening if you take this advice.)
  19. You develop an egg allergy at 22, save the money you will spend on figuring it out and just stop eating eggs. It sucks and you will be in denial about it for months, just stop, you will always feel like shit when you eat the eggs. I promise.
  20. Paint more. Stop making stupid excuses, and just do the work. Now! Go to the studio NOW!
  21. If snow is falling, drop everything and head to the mountain.  Your to-do list can wait, the number of wonderous fresh days on the slopes are so limited, and soon you will be old, and in pain after three runs. Chase that feeling while your legs can shred all day.
  22. Cupcakes + Redbull for breakfast is the reason why you're crying at 11AM for seemingly no reason, eat some yogurt and toast.
  23. Nap more.
  24. Accept that you're an introvert, and that it is ok to go alone. Anyone who doesn't get this can go suck rocks, you don't need their shit in your life. But also, stop feeling ashamed when you ask for help.
  25.  NO ONE cares if you don't go to the party, see point 7, and do what feels right.
  26. Everyone you meet that finds out you're a painter is going to do the following: First, ask if "you paint like houses, like walls and stuff? or like pictures? I don't get it?", followed by "but like for a job? really?" and then they will close with "oh you know what you should paint if you REALLY want to sell things.... (insert list of benign objects and bad ideas)".  Just smile and nod, they aren't intentionally trivializing what you do, and they don't know how much work it really is - just smile and nod. Woosah.
  27. You're tall, people are still mystifyed by this, it doesn't stop - again, just smile and nod.
  28. Find a place to live before you start driving across country to Idaho, don't live in that ladies basement. You will regret.
  29. Get the snow tires, you will need them.
  30. Turning 30 seems crazy, and weird, and a little scary, but it's happening, so ride the wave - ya old ass mo' fo'.


So that's my advice, some very specific, some sage and universal.  One neat thing I discovered while compliling this list?  I don't regret too many decisions in my 20's, which is surprising because at 25 I was regretting a whole lot.  Be kind to yourself, stay true to your path, and when you feel like jumping, just jump! In honor of my big bad 30th, I am offering 30% off everything in the shop - now through Labor day.  Just use the coupon code "30thBdayYAY" at checkout!


Until next time, I will be eating Funfetti for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next week - completely ignoring point number 22. :)


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1 Response

Karen Raynes
Karen Raynes

September 16, 2016

Hope these words of wisdom to your past self made you feel better about yourself today. You say “start your own business, be your own boss.” Isn’t being your own boss honoring your commitments and paying past due rent? We are still waiting.

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